i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
