Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
