I've blown a few things in my day
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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