doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
