You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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