Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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