If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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