i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
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But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
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they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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