What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize