So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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