Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
home. puking in laundry basket.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We have so much sex to catch up on
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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