she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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