the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Do vagina's smell?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
