He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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