i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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