nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
