If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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