I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
