This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
