Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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