i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
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You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
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I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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