Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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