Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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