is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
