I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize