How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
they're like a gay fantastic four
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)