Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.