That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.