Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night