i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
