i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
