Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
bring money and cleavage
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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