What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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