omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
