Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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