How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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