I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize