people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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