So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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