No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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