Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
