My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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