allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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