How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You can't just leave with hair like that
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
