Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
