Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize