Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
