I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Randomize