Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
