Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize