Dual....:-)
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
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At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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