Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
