We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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