Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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