Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
