Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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