i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
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You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
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No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
last night I used snow as a chaser
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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