is your mom at the bar?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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