is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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